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Convention of those wounded in love

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one's decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination: Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

- Paulo Coelho

Source: www.warriorofthelight.com

Escrito depois de ter o coração partido...

Minhas lágrimas são frias. O calor sai de dentre de mim. O meu embrace é firmo mas sinto só mim.

Isso coração esta duro e frio. Eu não quero sentir mais.

Amor, já não compreendo. Dizem que nos ficamos completos com amor verdadeiro. Agora eu só sinto um peso morte dentre de mim.

Pensava que quando achava amor que ficava livre. Eu não posso respirar. Estou cativa sem poder mexer.

Só sei que tuas palavras são veneno. Tudo que você disse foi falso. Você é mentiroso.

Eu nunca mais quero te ver. Não quero me lembrar de ti. Você disse que é por mim que você é frio. Então é por causa de ti que eu não tenho confiança em amor.

- Evete Van de Saar

The Similarity between Dating and Ducks

Whilst having dinner with my friend Deepak, we drifted into a conversation about dating. This was my fault, as I was updating him on my dating blunders and of course one thing led to another and this huge discussion broke out about the etiquette of dating.

He used the following metaphor to describe my dating technique:

Deepak: Did you know that feeding ducks is like dating? Have you ever fed ducks?

Evete: No, I didn’t realise that there was a similarity . Yes, I have fed ducks, why?

Deepak: Hey, this is the only metaphor I can think of. What do you feed the ducks?

Evete: Bread

Deepak: Ok, well normally you would break little pieces of bread and feed the ducks, right?

Evete: Yes

Deepak: You wouldn't shout LUNCH and then start hurling loaves of bread at the ducks now would you?

Evete: No, obviously not because knowing me I would probably end up killing one of them!

Deepak: Exactly, if you throw huge pieces at the ducks you will only scare them away instead of feeding them.

Deepak: This is how dating works. The purpose of a first date is to get a second date.

I guess what Deepak meant was that you shouldn't overload so much detail, information, etc all at once. Most people can’t handle that, it scares them away.

- Evete

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Written by: Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Kahlil Gibran to Mary Haskell

We are both trying to touch the limits of our existence. The great poets of the past always surrendered themselves to Life. They were not looking for some determined thing, nor were they trying to unravel secrets: they simply let their souls be overwhelmed by emotions. People are always seeking security, and sometimes they manage to achieve it: but security is an end in itself, and Life has no end. Poets are not those who write poetry, but all those whose heart is filled with the sacred spirit of Love.

Love

"All's love, yet all's law." - Robert Browning

Love and Law are two sides of the same coin. Everything is love, and at the same time, everything has that organizing power that we can totally count on. There is a reason why we love someone or something. There is a creative purpose to our love. We are not under some spell like the characters in "A Midsummer Night's Dream." We love who we love because God, the Universe, brought us together to learn and grow and experience more of our Selves. Love is divine, and yet love is totally practical.

-Lissa Coffey

My Imaginary Mr Right,

• I don't know if I want to marry again.  If I do, it needs to be for all of the right reasons - still trying to figure these out.
• I would also like to have more children either biological or adopted, although I know I say I don't want anymore, which when I do think about it I don't, but that is because I am not ready right now.  This is something that would be nice one day...with the right person.
• I prefer to live somewhere warm.
• I want to dance naked in the moonlight.  Seriously, so you would have to be willing to do that!
• I want to go in a hot air balloon, so I hope you’re not afraid of heights?
• I guess what I am trying to say is that I want us to try new things and share the experiences together – see different places, taste different foods and meet new cultures / people, anything.
• I also want us to be in each others company without distractions, having to be sexual or speaking, to just be in each others presence doing absolutely anything or nothing; to enjoy each other.
• I want to speak about absolutely anything without feeling restricted or accused of being a drama queen; I am just expressing myself and sometimes I can be a little bit sensitive and need clarification on certain things.  I guess you would need to be a little patient with me.
• I want to make love everywhere, anywhere, all the time and anytime and I don't want it to be a novelty.  I want it to be a part of who we are and a way of expressing / feeling a truly deeply intimate bond with each other.  I don’t want us to take this for granted.
• I want us to be able to work towards the same goals and to not fight against each other; to try and see each others point of view.  I want us to take time to sit down and tell each other about our dreams, hopes and goals.
• I want to be there when you are down and when you are happy.  When you are so down I want to be able to be there to lift you up again and to do this without ever throwing it back in your face or to ever use it against you or belittle you.  I want us to be best friends.
• I want us to be equal with regard to our problems and responsibilities; not to impose or let just one of us deal with everything.
• I want to travel; even if it is just for a drive 2hrs away and we end up sleeping in the car and looking like a terrible mess in the morning - who cares it is about being able to just spend time together and making the effort to do so – compromise.
• I want my daughter to grow up in a loving, open, honest and non - aggressive environment; where she isn’t subjected to seeing / hearing her mother having arguments.  I don’t want her to feel restricted in her communication / expression; she should feel comfortable to talk about anything. I want her to feel loved always; this is my mission to her as a mother.  I only ask that you respect her.
• Above all, I don't want to be taken for granted, as I would never take you for granted.  I accept you with all of your flaws and imperfections and I don't want you to change to be something that you are not.  I just want you to be you because that is all I will ever be to you is me. 
• If we don't betray who we are as individuals then I believe we are building a relationship based on acceptance, trust, unconditional love.

Eight pearls of 'ex' wisdom

1. Exes are never 'The One'
How can they be? No, really, it's not technically possible, there are just too many of them. 'The One' is still to come...

2. Revenge is a dish best served cold
Avoid hot-headed schemes, however hot your head. I know of one woman who, when dumped, immediately rented the flat next door to her ex and set about monitoring his comings and goings. If she suspected he was out with someone else, she'd wait up all night for him, then hang out the window and shout 'Here comes the c***!' as he walked up the path. The result: he moved out, she was stuck with a rental she
didn't want and neighbours who thought she was a nutter.

3. Let your friends keep you real
Another true story: a friend of mine was so distressed by her break-up she spent days putting together a flyer detailing her version of events. 'Women of Henley, Beware!' it read, before going on to dissect the poor man's business failings and sexual idiosyncrasies. We talked her out of actually posting the thing. When it comes to exes, listen to your friends. As a general rule of thumb, what works for Samantha in Sex and the City does not do so well in the sleepy English towns and villages...

4. SF-ex really can work
If you can't get your ex out of your head, try these visualisation techniques: picture him as a cartoon character, in black and white, speaking in whispers or a high-pitched helium whine. Believe it or not, these mental special effects will help create the psychological distance you need.

5. Exes are not new best friends
It may seem like a good idea when you're looking for any last crumb he'll offer, or indeed if you're the one trying to soften the blow, but you can never be best friends with an ex. At best there'll be some awkward introductions when you do meet someone new, at worst, you'll get stuck in a rut of comparison shopping and never move on. Unless you share children, stick to Christmas cards.

6. Exes reunited...
We've all heard the Friends' Reunited stories: we're a nation obsessed with our exes, even from years, decades, ago. By all means exchange news - how gratifying it is to learn that while you've been moving and shaking in the Big Smoke with the best hair cut money can buy, he's been stuck in a cubicle in a call centre with no hair left at all. Just don't expect to rekindle that heat you once felt over a pint of cider between A-level English and Geography. It won't happen, not for long, at any rate.

7. There's a fine line...
...between setting the record straight and actual harassment. Do send an outpouring of the heart in letter form, even seal it with a kiss if you must. That's just closure. Don't leave wreaths on his car windscreen and boiled bunnies in his pots - that's a matter for the police.

8. Everybody hurts
It's not just the dumped who've got their hearts in their boots, dumpers feel bad too. So don't believe that as you slowly atrophy on the sofa, watching a series of Friends a day, he's back out there, happy as Larry, looking for love. He's not. And if he is, then thank God he's out of your life in the first place.

Results from Perfect Partner Quiz

Want a partner who's into just about everything? Well, you've found him in your Renaissance man!

This man is extremely passionate about everything you can think of. His interests run the gamut, from football scores to Dutch art, and he delves into all of his interests enthusiastically. Your man will do anything and go anywhere and most likely have a smile on his face the whole time. You'll constantly be mesmerised by how much information he soaks up and retains.

Whether it's because he's extremely well cultured or due to his romantic nature, you can't help yourself falling for this bloke. Although he has a plethora of redeeming qualities, this great catch can be somewhat dotty. He can sometimes lose sight of reality and wind up living happily in the clouds. But when it comes down to it, that's exactly where this man will put you - on cloud nine

Beacause I say so

I can say I love you
and make it mean less
I can dilute it, make it impotent
a vodka shot in a water-litre

I can say I love you
put it in a clown suit, make it laugh
produce it with a sleight of hand so fast
it's gone before you notice

I can say I love you
sweet like a mouthful of molasses
choking your throat like
tears or fear or midnight moans

But I say I love you
and ignore the absent echo
the certainty in your eyes that
you do not love me

-Denrele Ogunwa